Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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