May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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