I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
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I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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