Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize