Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
