I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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