oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
its not stalking. its research.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
