You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
