That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
