And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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