a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
