words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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