Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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