Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
