why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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