i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
