no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize