Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
