Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize