Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am spending my child support on dildos
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize