No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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