just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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