Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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