I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
