margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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