just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
