But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize