Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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