You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
