After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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