i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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