Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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