Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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