I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
