it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize