Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
