Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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