ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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