There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize