is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
