so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
