I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
