One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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