I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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