i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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