How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
