I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
