community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
