you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
