Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.