Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!