she smelled like a LAN party
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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