walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Everything about him screamed your future.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.