they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken