I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring