I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
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I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.