Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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