if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
