I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your cock deserves a montage
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
