if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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