i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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