So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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