K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
