It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
