I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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