That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
