it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
