Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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