I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
