theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
