nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
